Humor on Walkabout

Something keeps crossing my mind now and again: what happened to my sense of humor?

I don't think I lost it per se. It's not that my face would break if I smile because it's unfamiliar. Yet I think back to my younger self, before the weight of responsibility and failures and little victories and aspirations the door has closed on, and I think how that person was easier to laugh, much more into comedy and less likely to be mistrustful.

The old me never missed a chance to watch comedians on TV like George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Paula Poundstone, and Jim Carrey. But contemporary comics and comedic actors like Will Ferrell, Steve Carell, and Adam Sandler leave me utterly cold. I wonder, though, if it's the comics that have changed or is it me. I don't listen to music at home on a stereo like I used to, either; habits change over time, but so do perspectives.

The world just seems a more serious place than when I was twentysomething. Back then there wasn't much weight in not succeeding, not as much as the weight of failing seems now. When the world seems a precarious place, it's hard not to see humor as a luxury. Kinda like when a child has to finish the vegetables before dessert, I subconsciously feel there's something undone or unearned when there are troubles in life that give me a "not now" feeling about humor and comedy.

Maybe I'm more contemplative than my younger self was. I used to get into all manner of double entendre jokes, never missed the Airplane movies, and so forth. Yet Carlin remains my favorite comedian of all time, and his offerings were as cerebral as they were irreverent. So I've always enjoyed humor that makes one think. I still enjoy Carlin's books. I suspect a book by Tracy Morgan would not interest me in the least. The Plato and a Platypus books are the only ones that I've enjoyed the way I used to.

If I can get to a point where I tell myself it's okay to let myself enjoy a pleasure that now would make me feel guilty, I could embrace the thorough cleansing benefits of the belly laugh. I'm just not so sure how to get there.